I've been a man all of my life...
Like it or not that's a distinction we have to make in this day and age!
And given the fact that I have been a man all of my life, there are certain things and truths that I have to recognize, and yes, even accept. Men are men. Women are women. Men are not women. Women are not men.
I would like to take a look at THREE of the most important and significant differences that I have come to recognize and accept, albeit begrudgingly. The worst part is, I'm not very proud of these differences. They tend to cause, let's just say, a bit of angst at home and in the office.
So, here we go... We men tend to be a bit lazy (as compared to certain of our wives). We are not able to multi-task, as our wives are able to. And we can be seemingly unsympathetic to others needs or desires (read that as our wives unspoken requests).
Why do I have a feeling that I'm not going to make anyone happy with this post?
We men can be lazy. Yeah, it happens. But I will agree that sometimes it's just unnecessarily lazy. When we come home from work, we just want to vegetate for a bit. The only problem is that sometimes that "bit" can turn into the entire evening or weekend. And it can be the most simple, menial tasks.
A case in point is toilet paper and / or paper towel rolls and their needing to be replaced when empty. I struggle with this in my business almost everyday. In my business, there are currently 6 of us. We range in age from about 20 to mid 50's. Because we are all men, the toilet seat can stay up almost all of the time. By and large, the bathroom is kept relatively clean. The toilet is regularly (I'd say daily) wiped. Ditto for the sink. Are there splashes of water around? Yes. Could the waste basket be emptied a bit more often? Yes. Overall, it's not an embarrassment when a customer has to use it. It could be much worse.
But there is one thing that bugs me. When the paper towel roll is empty, the roll sits on its holder and the new roll is placed on the sink edge or the top of the toilet tank. Why can't the used roll be thrown away and the new roll put in its rightful place?
This all came to a head when a day or two after the preceding came to pass again, I was visiting a distributor. After driving two hours, I first head to the mens room. I walked in and, you guessed it, they have the same problem! I laughed out loud. In fact, the picture above is what I saw.
Upon my return, I showed the photo to my staff and they got the point. Let's see how long this lasts.
You know, we're not even going to discuss whether the paper goes over (my preferred way of having it) or under (my wife's preference). In the scheme of things, it shouldn't make a difference, but... I'm getting off the track here which leads us to our next problem area.
The second deficiency is our inability to multi-task. Now, almost every male I know will swear up and down that he can do many things at one time. I don't think so. We men may believe that deception, but the fact of the matter is that we can't. We just can't. Our wives and mothers can, God bless their souls and lives, but we men can't. God didn't wire us that way.
My wife can do the following at the same time: cook, text, on-line chat and talk to anyone of us in the room. The same thing goes for my daughter. They even know which conversation belongs to which person. My son and me, our heads are just stuck watching the TV forgetting to properly set the table - all the time thinking that we have time (see the lazy portion above).
As for me, I think I may be slightly ADD as I fully enter into my fifth decade. I tell my wife that I'm going outside to do some work around the pool. While on my way out there, I see some weeds growing where they shouldn't. So I stop and pull the weeds. Then I see more of those rascals at the base of a nearby bush. In the meanwhile, the weeds get tossed on the ground behind me (I'll pick them up "later"). Two hours later my wife comes out to the pool and expects to jump in to a clean and lovely swimming pool.
I hadn't made it that far yet...
If you've ever heard of or seen Pastor Mark Gungor speak about the differences between men and women, you'll better understand this concept. What he speaks of is absolute truth. You can watch one of his videos at the end of this post.
Finally, we get to the being "seemingly uncaring or unsympathetic" part. Let's go back to the incident I just referred to. My wife believes with all her heart that I'm purposefully making time to go out and clean and make nice the pool and its surrounds so that she can enjoy some quiet rest in a peaceful setting. Because my actions - or lack thereof - have let her down again, I am "blamed" for being unkind and uncaring.
Well, in my mind, that's just not true! I do care (saying this quite emphatically)! I had put aside the time and the effort to go out to that pool and clean it and prep it so that my bride could just take her shades, her i-pod, a book and a cold drink and just enjoy some quiet time. Instead, a certain amount of angst has just crashed this Sunday afternoon party.
It's sometimes said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. That's not good. I have to ask myself, what did I promise to do for my wife today and make it a priority. As I type away, I'm thinking that I should probably make a quick list of what I need to do that afternoon (or whatever time it is) and just do one thing at a time. And when it has been accomplished, check it off the list. That may actually work.
Men, I hope I haven't embarrassed you too much. Women, please bear with us and help us. We just want to help you the best way we know how. Please tell us explicitly what we need to do and the order in which it needs to be done (if you have a preferred order). Contrary to popular belief, we men are just not good mind readers. But that's fodder for another post.
