RonParrs.com: Notes from My Desk...

Gay Marriage & a Conversation with My Daughter

In recent days and weeks we've seen a lot of activity on the "gay rights" front. And it's not going to go away any time soon - or quietly for that matter.

What I found most striking is the fact that the issue is being addressed by state legislatures at a time when local budgets are in crisis and the common taxpayer is under assault. Instead, of dealing head long with those issues that affect the entire population, liberal governors and legislators are taking time to address, and dare I say appease a very small but vocal minority.

The politics are bad enough, and frankly, I don't want to address this subject from that angle. I believe there is a more important angle. It is a matter of the heart and mind.

To be bluntly honest, this post is in response to a text conversation that I was having with my daughter a while back. I never fully answered her questions and in the meanwhile, some other thoughts have come to my mind.

The Attributes of Grace: Passion

Remember your parent or teacher saying something like this, "if you're not willing to do it well, don't do it at all."?

Why do we do what we do? What drives us to do what we do?

Contrary to popular belief, we - men and women - are not animals. We are human beings created in the image of God. We have a body, soul and spirit. We have the ability to know right from wrong. We have emotions. We have the ability to accumulate knowledge and dispense it. When a male and female come together sexually, another unique individual human - bearing God's image - is the outcome.

The question "why do what we do?" remains. If we were merely animals, we would act solely out of instinct. There is no love or mercy or justice. There is no Grace. There is nothing driving us to do anything. But the something that drives us to do everything is Passion.

The Attributes of Grace: Wisdom

"Above all else, seek out Wisdom."

We may not naturally link Wisdom with Grace, but when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. When God extends Grace to His creation, He always does it with much Wisdom. Proverbs 24:3 states, "By wisdom a house is built and through understanding it is established."

But what is Wisdom? Wisdom is the "ability to judge correctly and to follow the best course of action, based on knowledge and understanding" (Herbert Lockyer) consistent with reverence to God, our Creator, and respect for all persons, everywhere.

All of the previous Attributes of Grace (Unselfishness, Giving, Acceptance, Forgiveness, Cost), require Wisdom in order to be carried out.

The Attributes of Grace: Cost

Nothing in life is free. NOTHING! There is always a cost. Someone has to pay.

It's just a fact of life: if you want something, you have to pay for it. There will be a cost of time or effort or emotions. The cost may be tangible - including monetary costs or intangible.

Regardless of what it is, there is a cost.

Even Grace has a cost. In reaching out to our family, friends, co-workers, and strangers, we may have to sacrifice something in extending Grace. We come alongside these folks and grieve when there is a death. We rejoice with them at a birth. We present an anonymous gift card when they are out of work. We prepare a dinner when they are ill. We take their kids for a day when they are weary.

The Attributes of Grace: Forgiveness, Part 2

As we continue to look at Grace and the attribute of Forgiveness, we see that we are both on the receiving end as well as the giving end of Forgiveness.

In Part 1, we saw through the Biblical histories of Jacob and Joseph that this attribute of Grace, Forgiveness, is not only unnatural, it is terrifying. We don't naturally forgive others. We don't naturally forgive even ourselves.

Forgiveness is a hard thing to do. And it's hard to do because it is often terrifying. We don't know how the other person is going to react. We don't know whether we are going to be forgiven.

That's also the point of Part 2. There are two parts to Forgiveness.

There is Forgiven-ness: seeking and accepting forgiveness from another person or ourself.

And there is Forgiving-ness: seeking and providing or giving forgiveness to another person or ourself.

One additional thought to keep in mind: forgiveness must include justice. You are not a doormat to yourself (don't keep beating yourself up over past experiences and sin) or to another person.

The Attributes of Grace: Forgiveness, Part 1

Forgiveness is unnatural. Although made in God's image and imbued with many of His attributes, it is not natural for mankind to be forgiving. And as we look deeper, Forgiveness is not only unnatural, it is terrifying.

Think about your own life. Although you are created in God's image and enjoy many of His attributes, you have to admit, when it comes to forgiveness, it is both difficult and terrifying. When seeking forgiveness, we must often put aside pride in order to humble ourselves to someone else.

It's often times scary to ask someone to forgive us for something we have done or said; we don't want to do it. When being asked to forgive, we must also put aside pride and be willing to accept someone for who they are as well as put aside our own hurt. Admit it, this is not natural to do. It requires some form of inner strength. It requires something supernatural.

The Attributes of Grace: Acceptance

Acceptance. Patience. Humility. Similar and related.

Grace requires Acceptance. Acceptance of people. Acceptance of circumstances. Acceptance of life. Ever since the first bite of the forbidden Fruit in Garden, mankind has existed in a fallen, sinful world. As beautiful as most of it is, we live with frustration and disappointment. Patience and humility are integral parts of this process.

I believe part of the problem is that we don't normally see the universe with the same eyes that God does. God accepts all because He created all. God accepts all because He knows that all is good. Why is it good? All is good because God created it. But we have to back up a bit because God does not accept sin. Sin cannot be in the same space of His holiness. Thankfully God makes provision for sin which is ultimately defeated, but for now Grace and the blood of Christ cover over sin. One day, sin will be completely banished from all creation. Until then we are called to Accept what is.

The Attributes of Grace: Giving

"It is better to Give than Receive." So we are admonished. It may not be exactly Biblical in exact words, but the idea is there.

Giving is an essential attribute of Grace. But what exactly is Giving all about? What do we Give? How much do we Give? Those are all good questions. And to better understand Grace, we have to understand Giving.

So what is Giving? I believe we tend to look at Giving as in Gifting. That's true, but is there more to it? Are we giving out of our poverty as well as our wealth and abundance?  We see the tangible: money given to the needy individual; coins dropped in the Salvation Army kettle at Christmas; food baskets assembled and provided by your church, synogogue or civic group to a needy family; phone cards given to our troops overseas; the philanthropist who sets up a billion dollar trust fund at a university. 

The Attributes of Grace: Unselfishness

What do you think of when you hear the word "Unselfish"? Do you take it personally or do you immediately place that responsibility on someone else?

Unselfishness is the first attribute of Grace. The Bible doesn't speak specifically to the word or term "unselfishness," but it does speak directly to being selfish or selfishness.

You're probably trying to figure out the picture to the left. Yes they are seagulls. Do you remember Disney's animated film "Finding Nemo"? When you saw, then heard the seagulls flying and calling out to each other, what were they saying? Think about how seagulls generally act. The answer will follow later.

Being selfish is part of our fallen human nature. When sin entered our world, the blame game began. An attitude of "me first" was birthed. Selfishness started in the Garden and persists through today.

The Attributes of Grace: A Bible Study

Let's take a more in-depth look at the Attributes of Grace.

The seven basic Attributes of Grace are Unselfishness, Giving, Acceptance, Forgiveness, Cost, Wisdom and Passion. Now this is not an exhaustive list by any means. In fact some would ask about things like Patience. That's a good point but I believe "Patience" falls in well with a discussion on Acceptance, and so I have included Patience with Acceptance. Maybe categories is a better term than attributes, but Attributes they are.

As you go through this 10 Lesson Study, prayerfully open your eyes, mind and heart to God's Truth. Remember that His Truths are inerrant and immutable. They are carved in stone. Some of the verses are specifically meant to challenge our thinking of how God uses these attributes.