Life can be tough enough without someone inside of your own head continually dissing you!
Every single one of us, young or old, male or female, is saddled with a continuous, never ending conversation going on in our minds. A lot of it is fairly benign. Some of it can be fun. But other parts of this conversation (maybe call it a monologue) can be harmful or even destructive. This monologue, this self-conversation is the "Chatterbox".
As we get started, we need a couple of definitions. First, what is the "chatterbox"? Pastor Steven Furtick, author of "Crash the Chatterbox" and Lead Pastor of Elevation Church in Charlotte, North Carolina, describes the chatterbox as that constant and almost incessant, nearly audible voice in our heads that is talking, talking, talking.
Whether it's something as inane as that list of, "darn it, I forgot to do...whatever "it" is... again." or the day's punchlist of where to go, who to pick up, what to do next, etc., the chatterbox can be there - will be there - often times distracting us from what we're really called to do, and more importantly, who we're called to be and to emulate.
Defining the Chatterbox
We can think of the chatterbox as an angel on one shoulder and a demon on the other. That's too easy to deal with as we think we can merely flick the little demon and its chatter away. We want the calming and positive words of the angel, but that's not really what the chatterbox is about.
The chatterbox can also be likened to the perpetual struggle between the mind and the heart. In really broad terms, the mind is generally thought of as being the center for reason and logic keeping our thoughts in check so that our actions actually work toward something good. The heart on the other hand is just that, the heart of wanting to help and do and lead. The heart is all about feelings and emotions. Those feelings and emotions aren't bad, because they are truly God given, but we have to understand the heart as God calls it: "the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9.
The best way that I can understand this whole chatterbox idea is that the chatterbox itself is the struggle or tension between the head and the heart. Each want to be in control of the other. The fact of the matter is that there has to be a balance. When the chatterboxing is out of control and there is "violence" between the reason and the emotion, your head can feel like it's going to explode... sometimes literally depending upon the situation.
Let's look at a couple of examples of "chatterbox" monologues so that you can better grasp the concept that Pastor Steve is talking about.
A "benign chatterbox" would look - sound - something like this: You're up, the kids are off to school and now it's time to get yourself ready and out the door for the day. You've taken the time to be in God's Word for some devotional time. You've prayed. You've committed your day to God's work in and through your life. Now as you're standing in the shower, the voices begin... "remember that you have this meeting at 10:15 with ... and you MUST remember to bring up this really salient point or the entire project is in jeopardy. Don't forget that the kids' soccer practice is going to run late this evening and coach wants to talk about an upcoming tournament. Spouse is going to be in then out again for a church meeting. It's auntie Beth's birthday next Tuesday. Mom said that she needs help with moving some stuff from the basement and dad can't help because he just sprained his ankle. Mary next door is away for a couple of days, so don't forget to pick up her mail and bring the garbage cans out for Thursday morning..." And on it goes... And that's just the monologue in the first 2 minutes of the shower!
A more "demanding chatterbox" would sound like this: You're sitting in traffic and late for an appointment. As you go over your punch-list, your mind begins... "remember to bring up... how could you be so stupid and forget to bring those charts. You know, the client would really have liked to see a recent sample of the work, not something from 5 years ago. And what's up with this office-wide memo regarding a new dress code? Why do I always have to cover for the boss and she never even thinks about covering for me? I can't stand that new cleaner that's being used in the restrooms, it's so overpowering. Why did I take this route to this meeting? I should have known better that there were new construction delays. The people down in marketing are going to get a tongue lashing from me when I get back because this new tag line is so ambiguous, I've got to constantly dance around it with the clients." Not too much positivity going on in there...
Instead of being in "control" of our thoughts and attitudes, the chatterbox seems to almost continually interrupt. Very rarely does it serve to bring us up out of the mire of the day, in fact it almost always distracts and confounds us. Sometimes it will even lead to a slip of the tongue with a coarse word to a colleague or loved one.
And yet, the chatterbox is always there, incessantly chattering away. In a way, we carry this "enemy" around with us all the time. The great Christian pastor and preacher Charles Hadden Spurgeon warned: "Beware of no man more than yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us."
The bottom line definition of the Chatterbox should be this, as Furtick points out: the chatterbox is actually the dialogue of two voices in competition not only for our thoughts and actions, but also for our lives and very souls. The two voices in competition are God's voice of Truth versus Satan's voice of Lies and deception. God's voice is one of love and kindness and victory. Satan's voice is one of slander and sabotage. One of the them will always win out and it's up to us as individual men and women as to which voice we will heed and support.
The fork in the road of the mind
Each of us has a problem of numbers. The problem of numbers that each of us has can be quite voluminous. Furtick brings out the idea of "logorrhea". You've probably heard the phrase "diarrhea of the mouth", well think of logorrhea of the mind and its thoughts.
Each of us has a lot of thoughts each day. From "oh, the sun is out" to "which color socks should I wear" to "why is that person so stupid" to "why did God make me this way" to other various thoughts ad nauseum. We think a lot of thoughts to the sum of about 60,000 of these bad-boys (well that's being a little provocative isn't it?) each and every day. And to make matters worse, a full 80% of these thoughts - that's 48,000 thoughts - are considered negative. I don't know about you but that doesn't make me feel too good. Our daily lives are being inundated with Logorrhea!
The greatest problem or potential problem with logorrhea is that all of this negativity subverts or can subvert anything positive that we may be trying to accomplish or even think through. American author and priest Brennan Manning put it this way: “Great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted.” In other words, we can get so side-lined by the chatterbox that we become ineffective. The chatterbox is a serious topic that must be understood and dealt with.
What we're NOT looking to do as we deal with the chatterbox is simple, but perhaps counter intuitive. Pator Steve poses four things that we should and need to be aware of when it comes to changing and examining our thought process:
- Think cheerful thoughts. On the surface, that might be okay, but that's all that it is, the surface. It's not that cheerful thoughts are bad, on the contrary, cheerful thoughts are good, but they don't deal with the root or source of the logorrhea.
- Adopting a cheerful or pleasant disposition. Again, not bad, but that outwardly cheerful disposition may "seem nice" but is in actuality a complete lie. A cheerful disposition may be like the character of Dolores Umbridge in the "Harry Potter" book and movie series. She was always dressed in pink or mauve and displayed a cheery disposition, but you knew she was just awful beneath the surface. She was the ultimate facade of "pleasant".
- Finding our "happy place". The problem with finding our happy place is that it typically ends up being a mirage of the mind. Reality is not dealt with. Oh yes, the happy place may be a good place to escape to from time to time (and sometimes we need to), but we're not going to accomplish anything there. We think it's good and safe and restful, but it's a mirage nonetheless.
- Improve our lives. There's nothing wrong with improving our lives, but again, that may not be the reality of the moment or the situation. Sometimes, it just IS. Sometimes we have to slog through a time or season of muck and mire. Life is messy. People are messy. We come into this world needing to wear diapers and most us will exit the world needing to be back in diapers!
Instead, we are looking to do four marvelous things in our lives. These are actually what God wants to do in and through us. Crashing the Chatterbox helps us to achieve these goals. And there are four overarching ideas:
- Fulfill the Great Commandment of Jesus to His church. "Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’" Matthew 22:37. Loving God with our minds as well as the rest of our person is paramount. Understanding God and His Word is a serious, profound and mighty thing.
- Realize our freedom in Christ. Paul writing to the Galatian church said, "false believers had infiltrated our ranks to spy on the freedom we have in Christ Jesus and to make us slaves. We did not give in to them for a moment, so that the truth of the gospel might be preserved for you." Galatians 2:4-5. And continued later, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1. We oftentimes forget the power of the freedom that we have in Christ. God's freedom to say "NO" is so liberating to the soul of mankind that it is overwhelming; and it has to begin in the mind. The chatterbox has to be crashed.
- Realize our position in Christ. Once we realize our freedom, we should realize our position. Christ set us free from the bondage and slavery of sin so that we could realize a new level of existence that we were created by God to have (not just achieve). To the Ephesian church Paul wrote: "And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:6-7. To the church in Colossi the apostle wrote: "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." Colossian 3:1-3. Understanding where we actually stand in God's universe and economy puts an entirely different spin on our outlook for life. Liberation is one thing; living in glorious freedom is another.
- Be transformed to the image of Christ. Ultimately, this is what God desires of each and every man and woman. We are reminded of this truth: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2. And "The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake." 2 Corinthians 4:4-5. We have been created in God's perfect image, but unfortunately sin has sullied and warped that image. Furthermore, if Satan can't take the believer to hell with him, he's more than happy to destroy our witness of the goodness and greatness of God in our lives.
Those are the choices.
So which fork do you choose?
That's the bottom line question. I've often said that words are very powerful things. In fact I would be willing to go out on the end of limb and say that words are one of the most powerful forces in the universe. After all, God created all that we see and experience through "the Word", that is Jesus.
Words have the power to create or destroy. Words have the power to birth or bring forth new life. Words have the power to resurrect dead bodies and situations. Words also have the power to mame, kill and destroy. In the great Christian hymn, "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" one phrase says (speaking of Satan's demise), "one little word shall fell him". By the same token, bitter or cruel words spoken to family or friends can be devastating and long lasting. How many times do we hear the decades old words of a parent that "you'll never amount to anything", and still believe them regardless of the fact that we are successful in our careers and are loved by many?
The more I read the Bible, the more I am amazed at God's Words. When I think about me and my words, the word that comes to mind is "verbose"; talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. And I am finite. Then there's God. He's Infinite, and yet when you read the words that He speaks to so many Biblical characters, He does not drone on and on. Instead, He is succinct. He is exact. God doesn't waste words! God understands the power of His own words that He speaks.
Isaiah writes to us of God's invitation to His creation: "Give ear and come to me; listen, that you may live." Isaiah 55:3. Everything that we need to know about God can be easily wrapped up in those two short phrases: Hear Him and come. Listen to His voice and live. His Word is life itself!
On the other hand, Jesus warns us of Satan's enticements. The chatterbox of those voices that oppose God and His Word may be seductive, but they are deceptive and aim to steal the goodness that God wants us to enjoy. As Satan sought to tempt Jesus in the wilderness, he twisted and subverted God's Word to his own devises. Satan sought to take Jesus down if he could; but he couldn't. Dear brother and sister in Christ, we deal with the same struggles and words. Like Jesus, we must know and listen to and then act on God's Words.
The Puritan Thomas Watson put it this way: “It was by the ear, by our first parents listening to the serpent, that we lost paradise; and it is by the ear, by hearing [God’s] word, that we get to heaven.”
As I traverse this very difficult time in my own life, I have to choose which words I will listen to. Sometimes it's day by day. Sometimes it's hour by hour or minute by minute. Either way, God gives me a choice: Him or the deceiver.
God has given me the tools and strength to Crash the Chatterbox. He has given me the truth of His Word.
In the following lessons, we'll look at four confessions that Pastor Steven Furtick assembled to better understand how we can subdue the Chatterbox before it can subdue us. The four confessions are:
- God says, I am...
- God says, He will...
- God says, He has...
- God says, I can...
"Crash the Chatterbox" is just the right book gifted to me at just the right time by someone who has known me for several years. This young man is a former employee of mine and is an outstanding young man that God is using in various ways as he begins his own adult life and career. Thank you Dan.
Regardless of whether your life is "good" or "in control" or not, I would really recommend picking up a copy and reading it with a heart that is open to God's glorious healing and restoration in and for your life.
Our God is good and He is all about healing us for His glory. Don't let the chatterbox win. Let God win! After all, He's guaranteed the victory anyway so why not enjoy a victory lap with Him?
Click here to return to the Crash the Chatterbox study.
Music video: Jason Gray, "I am New"
This study is based on the book "Crash the Chatterbox" by best selling author and pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church, Charlotte, North Carolina. Click on the book to purchase.
